Winter, I can’t miss you if you won’t go away. I think it would be best if we saw other seasons. Does anyone else have the never-ending, wet sock winter gloomies? Feel like you’re trapped in a cold, dark vacuum where flip flops don’t exist? I’m done with gray. I’m done with turtlenecks. I’m done with white-knuckling the steering wheel as I spin around icy roads. It’s time for spring. Since the snow is snowin’ and the wind is still f$#&ing blowin’, spring will have to be metaphorical. We unfortunately can’t control the weather. Unless you are a witch, sorcerer, or Storm from X-Men. Wait...are you? If you are any of these things, please call me. If not, let's be our own springtimes! For me, that means dressing in bright colors, putting sparkles on things (eyelids, shoes, napping friends, etc.), and making a big stinking deal about my birthday, which happens to be today. I have been so childishly tickled about my birthday that I couldn’t care less what the weather is doing. You won’t steal my thunder, winter! Happy attention-hoarding, cake-eating, gift-wrapped spring, everyone! Even if you’re not the egomaniac that I am, it’s still important to make time to celebrate yourself. It’s easy to get lost in the drudgery of our daily routines, especially when the weather insists on remaining so unsavory. Add a little party to your day! Wear those pants that make your butt look extra good. Take yourself out to lunch because you deserve it. Tell the Starbucks barista that your name is Princess Glitterface so that you can proudly and with great flourish claim your latte when that name is called out. Swish over to the sugar station, knowing that everyone around you is jealous of your awesomeness. Spring doesn’t always come when we need it to. Sometimes we need to plant some flowers, do a barefoot twirl in the garden, and pretend the desk lamp is really the sun on our face. I’ll give you until the end of March to switch from lion to lamb, weather, and then I’m putting my flip flops on. Literal flip flops, not metaphorical. We all deserve to be warm. Happy first day of spring!