Maybe She's Born With It...

Everyone has their things. Our quirks, idiosyncrasies, and habits are what make us each unique. Some are stranger than others, and some are more productive. I descend from the Idiosyncratic Royal Family, and I know a doozie of a quirk when I see one. And I got one. Ready? I draw power from red lipstick. It started in about 4th grade, when makeup started going from Mom’s weird face paint to I-am-starting-to-appreciate-the-glamorous-aspects-of-playing-dress-up. I would put red lipstick on while I did my math worksheets or my assigned minutes of silent reading. I wasn’t pretending to be a movie star learning about multiplication, and I never attempted to wear the lipstick out of the house or even during the day. It was just occasionally, when I felt like I needed a little boost to help me concentrate on my homework. And judging by the way I totally impressed my fifth grade classmates by knowing how to spell “rhododendron,” I think you’ll agree that it worked. My secret source of power became less easily hidden when it came time to write long papers in a crowded dorm. Sitting on my awkwardly rocking college-issue desk chair in flannel pants with ruby lips, friends would knock on my door, peek in and say, “Oh, sorry Ron, I didn’t know you were writing a paper.” The red lips became known and respected. They helped me succeed in college more than any study group, quiet library room or respectable amount of sleep ever could have. Time to go out to a party? Any pinkish gloss will do. Time to go to the dining hall? You’re lucky I’m even wearing pants. Time to expand on my thoughts about what a misogynist John Milton was based on his representation of Eve in Paradise Lost? Perfectly painted red lips, not a smear in sight. This brings us to present day. As in any life worth living, the past few years have brought exciting new challenges to mine. There was a move to Wisconsin, painting and spackling Neena into existence, and most recently, TRX. If you will refer to a prior blog entry in which I described my introduction to TRX, you will see why I consider it a “challenge.” As the entry does not explain, I survived my 6 week Intro Boot Camp, and have actually continued to attend TRX classes. No matter how many classes you take, sit ups you do, or cookies you avoid, these classes will kick your butt. Kick. Your. Butt. I always skip on over to class in my cute little Neena workout gear, sippin' on my water bottle, ready to go. I leave class a sweaty broken shell of a woman, dragging my water bottle like it weighs 500 pounds. Yesterday, as I prepared to leave for TRX class straight from Neena (wearing the black and amethyst Alo Speed Capri) I realized I hadn’t removed the red lipstick that I’d worn that day. Not wanting to take the time to do a thorough scrubbing job, and not wanting to do a quick smeared removal and end up looking like a murdered prostitute from Law & Order: SVU, I left my lipstick on in all its glory. And do you know what happened? I. Kicked. Butt. I had a fantastic workout. I worked hard, I did all the reps I was supposed to, and held my planks for as many seconds as the more seasoned TRX’ers did. I left class feeling strong, empowered, beautiful, and so, SO sweaty. My next challenge will be to run (and walk a lot of) the Haunted Hustle 10k the weekend before Halloween. I will be the one near the back of the pack, smiling and looking a little fancy. And before anyone has the chance to post a comment containing the question, yes, I am writing this entry wearing jammies and Maybelline Very Cherry.

Leave a comment